I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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