If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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