If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
