dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
