she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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