Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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