Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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