I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
