Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
