we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
