I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
