Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
