ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
