Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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