It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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