Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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