WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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