if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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