I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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