found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
