Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
