Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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