im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
