Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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