He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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