I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
