Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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