how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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