how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
