maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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