Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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