I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
