Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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