their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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