I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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