so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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