I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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