She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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