Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
