i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
