Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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