I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
