walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
