Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
