I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
