I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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