Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
only if we run a train.
done.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
