Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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