I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
