He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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